AccuWeather headline tonight read "Storms Target Major Cities Coast to Coast". Really? Really? It's bypassing rural areas, small towns, villages, townships, even lakes and streams, and mid-sized cities and metropolitan regions? It only targeting the Major Cities? This is new. This is scary. Wait till Al Gore finds out about this new phenomena. With this newly developed targeting ability, weather no longer must inflict global or even regional flooding. All weather can placed with surgical precision. Rain, snow, sleet or hail strikes on hand-picked targets, with laser-like accuracy. Amazing!
While I'm on the weather news, does anyone else think the Weather Alarms are getting a little carried away. It seems every time I check the weather there is an AccuWeather Weather AlarmTM. We get Weather Alarms in East Lansing for two and a half inches inches of snow, possible over the next four days. Two and a half inches ... over four days. If that's a Weather Alarm, Weather Alarms are meaningless.
Wait! Now it's becoming clear. These overused Alarms are just another part of the weather's master plan to destroy us all! First they overwhelm us with Alarms, until they're meaningless, then they drown us in a flood, suffocate is in snow, or slush us to death. I'm onto you Mr. Weather.